Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not; practising flash fiction.

#FridayFictioneers – 22/6/18 – Excuse Me

with 33 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

At any point during the following week, the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Read the other stories by clicking below.

My muse decided to be busy elsewhere on seeing this week’s prompt. So I showed the picture to my other half and he told me what he saw. Hopefully the below makes sense, although this is a vignette not a story. There’s a link at the bottom if not.

Thank you Rochelle and Fatima.

 

© Fatima Fakier

 

Excuse Me

(Genre: humour; 100-words)

‘Stop pushing.’

‘I was here first.’

‘With a photo finish, I’d be further over the line.’

‘Having more out front isn’t something to boast about.’

‘Just because you aren’t favoured in the bust department! Will you stop barging into me?’

‘I told you, I was here first.’

‘I think you’ll find we’d dived for the doorway at exactly the same time, or we wouldn’t be in this mess. Are you that desperate for canapés?’

‘I’m trying to get to the toilet.’

‘Then you’re going the wrong way.’

Squelch, whoosh, splat.

‘Dammit. Can you help me up?’

‘What’s the magic word?’

 

Confused?

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

June 22, 2018 at 4:09 pm

33 Responses

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  1. Brilliantly poised and a very different take on the prompt. Made me giggle.

    ellenbest24

    June 22, 2018 at 4:44 pm

    • Thank you. It was fun to write so good to know it’s fun to read too.

      Sarah Ann

      June 22, 2018 at 7:58 pm

  2. I’m laughing!

    tnkerr

    June 22, 2018 at 4:49 pm

  3. That would never happen in England – you just get two people waving the other through the door saying “after you”, “no, after you”… 🙂

    draliman

    June 22, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    • You sure? These are both strong women after all, emotionally and physically. Or should that be self-important? 😉

      Sarah Ann

      June 22, 2018 at 7:58 pm

  4. i’d say keep the peace. don’t rock the boat. 🙂

    plaridel

    June 22, 2018 at 7:14 pm

  5. And you live on one don’t you? Is this how it is?

    neilmacdon

    June 22, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    • I hadn’t seen my protagonists on a boat, just squashed in any doorway together. It can be like this though. Living on a narrow boat is a bit like living in a corridor, so some have few doors. I’ve up-sized to a barge with plenty of room and doorways a whole 2-feet wide 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      June 22, 2018 at 8:12 pm

  6. Hahaha love a dialogue driven story!

    Laurie Bell

    June 22, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    • I love a dialogue story when it can tell a story 🙂 They are sometimes easier to write, although sometimes the verbalisations have to be a bit wordy.

      Sarah Ann

      June 25, 2018 at 11:30 am

  7. This was a hoot, Sarah Ann! I am definitely laughing.

    Dale

    June 23, 2018 at 2:29 am

  8. Delightfully different! Thanks for my first grin of the day.

    Click to read my FriFic tale

    Keith's Ramblings

    June 23, 2018 at 9:20 am

  9. So pictorial. I was right there behind them. Good one, Sarah Ann.

    Sandra

    June 23, 2018 at 10:11 am

    • Thanks, Sandra. I was thinking of Beryl Cook as I wrote, but couldn’t find a picture of hers with this scene to link to.

      Sarah Ann

      June 25, 2018 at 11:32 am

  10. “Then you’re going the wrong way.” True? Or just a fib to get the other to change direction? Fun story.

    pennygadd51

    June 23, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    • It was true when I wrote it, now you have me thinking my character might have had ulterior motives.

      Sarah Ann

      June 25, 2018 at 11:33 am

  11. Hilarious tale. I can just see these two bickering.

    Russell Gayer

    June 23, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    • I imagine if they get time to stand next to each other without being squeezed they will share gossip and bitch about others.

      Sarah Ann

      June 25, 2018 at 11:34 am

  12. Dear Sarah Ann,

    Never stand in the way of a desperate bladder. You and your other half made me laugh.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    June 24, 2018 at 1:29 pm

    • No, when it comes to choosing over stomach or bladder, the bladder will always win.

      Sarah Ann

      June 25, 2018 at 11:34 am

  13. So text gnashingly true to life. We are all born equal, but some more equal than others, or so they think because they act that way therefore it must be true. Nice one, Sarah.

    Kelvin M. Knight's blog

    June 25, 2018 at 8:08 am

    • Thank you Kelvin. It is so true, and sad, that some think themselves more equal than others. Thanks for reading and your comment.

      Sarah Ann

      June 25, 2018 at 11:35 am

  14. 🙂 A fun write.

    yarnspinnerr

    June 25, 2018 at 9:36 am

    • Thank you. I was surprised by the amount of crime perpetuated in response to this prompt.

      Sarah Ann

      June 25, 2018 at 11:36 am

  15. loved the dialogue in this funny take on the prompt. I guess it refers to the two boats squeezing through the canal? It was amazing how they manoeuvred past each other, unlike your two characters.

    Fatima Fakier

    June 26, 2018 at 7:10 am

    • Yep, that’s what my hubby saw, the two boats as two squeezed ladies. The boats have sleeker lines, allowing them to pass each other, unlike my well-proportioned characters.

      Sarah Ann

      June 26, 2018 at 4:07 pm

  16. Made me laugh and reminded me of the numerous occasions Laurel and Hardy struggled to get through a doorway

    michaelwynnauthor

    June 26, 2018 at 9:01 am

    • Thank you. Laurel and Hardy is a great visual to take from your comment 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      June 26, 2018 at 4:06 pm

  17. 🙂

    granonine

    June 27, 2018 at 1:07 am


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