Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 13/11/15 – Graveyard Reveries

with 36 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

At any point during the following week, the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Read the other stories by clicking here.

 

I’m not confident writing or critiquing humour so am putting this up and hoping for guidance.

 

JHC5

PHOTO PROMPT – © J Hardy Carroll

 

 

Graveyard Reveries

(Genre: humour; 100-words)

It’s getting ridiculous. You give an inch and they take a mile. I’m not kidding. Once we were surrounded by nature and watched the seasons change. Now we’re crammed in liked sardines and the view’s as stimulating.

The last building’s foundations almost took my toes; Lottie lost an arm. Pity it wasn’t her head the way she goes on.

There’s not much peace and quiet in this garden of rest, for residents or visitors. I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re concreted over soon in the name of progress. Or dug up. Who knows who we’ll mix with in an ossuary.

 

 

Friday Fictioneers

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Written by Sarah Ann

November 13, 2015 at 6:19 pm

36 Responses

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  1. Oddly, I enjoyed that. Needed a pick me up after all the depressing writes this week.

    jellico84

    November 13, 2015 at 7:06 pm

  2. The humour (dark as it is) works for me – you’ve rattled my funnybone.

    patrickprinsloo

    November 13, 2015 at 8:31 pm

  3. I like the overall tone of the piece. It is humorous. I tripped up a bit on ‘The last building’s foundations almost took my toes; Lottie lost an arm. ‘ And I was no longer certain if it were a ghost speaking or if ghosts can lose physical aspects of their being? Although the part about Lottie losing her head is funny so it leads nicely into that. And the last two lines make it clear who the narrator is. (I’m not very good at critiquing either I’m afraid).

    momtheobscure

    November 13, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    • Thank you for your commments. I suppose I hadn’t seen the narrator as a ghost but more in terms of his skeletal remains, which then makes me think the speaker is trapped underground, so a bit of re-thinking required. Maybe ghosts in graveyards are particularly attached to their physical remains and worry about bits going missing?

      Sarah Ann

      November 16, 2015 at 8:46 pm

  4. Yes, it gave me a good chuckle, too. I started to grin at the end of the first paragraph, because I remembered a laugh I had with my (now deceased) mother about the family grave. (Where I live, you can buy graves for 30 years, and extend that time if more family wishes to be buried there). The graveyard is on a hill, the view can’t be blocked, it’s among the best views in town, and surrounded by nature.

    gahlearner

    November 14, 2015 at 12:00 am

    • I glad to hear it rang true, of sorts, and hope your mother has her view. I must say 30 years doesn’t seem very long to occupy a plot. Thanks for your reading and your comment, which made me smile.

      Sarah Ann

      November 16, 2015 at 8:48 pm

      • It can be extended for another thirty years, and another, and… but you need to pay the fee. If no one is left of the family, after 30 years the headstone is removed… and the lot goes to someone else.

        gahlearner

        November 17, 2015 at 4:55 pm

  5. I can’t tell you how delighted I was to read this! I was getting quite depressed reading all those gloomy takes – mine included! There’s nothing like a bit of grave humour.

    Visit Keith’s Ramblings!

    Keith Hillman

    November 14, 2015 at 1:11 am

    • Thanks Keith. Yours is beuatifully written – the remember dialogue evoking strong emotions. (Am putting that here because have had issues adding a comment on your site.)

      Sarah Ann

      November 16, 2015 at 8:43 pm

  6. Loved it Sarah, nothing like dark humour to tickle my funny bones. 😊

    ramblingsfromamum

    November 14, 2015 at 11:26 am

  7. There goes the neighbourhood, I guess. Lovely dark humour – a welcome relief right now.

    Sandra

    November 14, 2015 at 11:52 am

  8. Very nice take on the prompt! I feel for them, all squashed in like that 🙂

    draliman

    November 14, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    • Yeah, they’re feeling a bit sorry for themselves too. Thanks for reading.

      Sarah Ann

      November 16, 2015 at 8:26 pm

  9. I love your humor here! I didn’t know about the ossuary, although I know you can have multiple remains in a burial plot, of course, only with consent of a living relative. C- If I would crit anything it would be that I wanted to know more about “the view’s as stimulating.” I wanted a bit on that! Well done, Sarah!

    Amy Reese

    November 14, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    • Thanks Amy. The stimulating view was a reference to the inside of a sardine tin.
      There are some beautiful things done with bones in ossuaries, now I need to find you a link…

      Sarah Ann

      November 16, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      • Aww, got it. I’ve heard of crypts with multiple remains…although all buried in their own separate containers. I’ll search it out! Thanks.

        Amy Reese

        November 16, 2015 at 11:19 pm

  10. I love the voice of the dead in this!

    Liz Young

    November 14, 2015 at 11:19 pm

  11. Dear Sarah Ann,

    You had nothing to worry about. Great job of dark humor.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    November 15, 2015 at 2:10 pm

  12. It begs the question: why do we care what happens to our bodies after we’re dead?
    Good piece.

    micklively

    November 16, 2015 at 10:49 am

    • Indeed. Why do some people insist on cremation because they don’t want to be eaten by worms?
      Thanks for reading..

      Sarah Ann

      November 16, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      • I hadn’t realised that was their motivation.

        micklively

        November 17, 2015 at 7:57 am

      • It is for some people I know, although is perfectly daft – as if you’re going to feel them nibbling. 🙂

        Sarah Ann

        November 18, 2015 at 9:03 pm

  13. I agree, Sarah Ann, that is was dark, but humor never-the-less. The ghost could have a point. As land is needed, who knows who’ll be the next to be moved. Here in India, after a time, the bones of Christians whose families haven’t paid for the grave are moved to another location as other bodies are interred. Who knows that someday archeologists might dig any of us up to study us. Some of us may end up in a museum; it could happen. 🙂 — Suzanne

    patriciaruthsusan

    November 16, 2015 at 11:23 pm

    • In the UK, church graveyards have been dug up and the remains moved on many occasions. I think grave markers possibly give us a comforting, but unrealistic, sense that the dead will not be moved.

      Sarah Ann

      November 18, 2015 at 8:54 pm

  14. “Two square yards of land at last this pauper has found/ It is after my death that I too have become a landlord.” Translation of a urdu couplet by Khumar Barabankvi.

    The land for dead is shrinking. Liked your take on this one.

    yarnspinnerr

    November 17, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    • Thank you for the couplet – that’s it exactly.
      I recently read ‘Necropolis: London and its Dead’ by Catharine Arnold, which is all about burial and the reuse of land, the need for new cemeteries etc from pre-Roman London to the present day – a very interesting read and something most of us probably don’t think about much.

      Sarah Ann

      November 18, 2015 at 9:00 pm

  15. On the bright side no mortgage repayments required. Or so I think and easy to pay an arm or a leg. Nice one.

    subroto

    November 18, 2015 at 7:29 am

    • Indeed, no mortgage payments, but possibly a large down-payment to secure a plot. It might be okay if you could pay gradually with different body parts, as at the same time you’d be making space for those coming later. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      November 18, 2015 at 9:01 pm


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