Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 23/1/15 – Myfanwy

with 40 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

At any point during the following week, the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Read the other stories by clicking below.

 

 

Georgia’s photo provoked a sense of the ethereal, hence this week’s story. It’s clear what’s going on to me, but let me know if you have doubts.

Thanks to Rochelle as ever for hosting our little gang.

 

Copyright – Georgia Koch

Copyright – Georgia Koch

 

Myfanwy

(Genre: general fiction; 100-words)

Myfanwy skips down the towpath as she does every morning. The sun sneaked around her curtains early and mother didn’t need to shout to her bairns to get outside. Billy left her at the last bridge, walking to the farm to pester McKinley for work during the coming harvest.

Myfwany twines vetch and forget-me-not into a garland, places it on her head and giggles, knowing she is a beauty.

Three steps later her shoulders fall. She is alone in a stand of hazel. Myfanwy’s friends are grown and gone, shunning memories of a girl found floating, flowers in her hair.

 

Friday Fictioneers

 

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

January 23, 2015 at 11:49 am

40 Responses

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  1. Oh the loneliness in that last line! So perfectly mirrors the boat.

    Shailaja/ The Moving Quill

    January 23, 2015 at 1:09 pm

  2. I was just skipping down the path, happy as could be, till I got to the last line, where thee pulled the rug from under me.
    This was beautifully written, Sarah. I read it three times. Very nicely crafted.

    rgayer55

    January 23, 2015 at 1:12 pm

    • Sorry for the rug pulling, but I’m happy to know you started out skipping. Actually, you’re making me feel guilty now for not giving Myfanwy a happy ending.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 8:54 pm

  3. A beautiful tragedy.

    ahtdoucette

    January 23, 2015 at 3:15 pm

  4. A unique take.

    yarnspinnerr

    January 23, 2015 at 4:09 pm

  5. It was the line ‘Billy left her at the last bridge,’ that got me – so sad. Lovely.
    Claire

    Claire Fuller

    January 23, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    • Thanks for letting me know. That was just an event within the story until I re-read it. Knowing the end gives Billy’s departure added poignancy.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:49 pm

  6. This is lovely, although tragic, piece. I can see the image of her with garlands in her hair and laughing. Great word choices, too, that really give the piece atmosphere. I can see the images in my mind really clearly.

    Amy Reese

    January 23, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    • Thanks Amy. It’s good to know you could see her laughing – she was a pretty, happy child in my imagining so glad you could see the pictures too.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:50 pm

  7. if i were asked what poignancy is, i’d tell them to read this story. well done.

    plaridel

    January 23, 2015 at 7:18 pm

  8. Good story. So sad!

    Judith StClaire

    January 23, 2015 at 10:12 pm

  9. Such tragedy in this.. the girl floating with the flowers in her hair.. a classic image of Ophelia comes to mind…

    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    January 23, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    • Ophelia was definitely an influence. Particularly John Everett Millais’s version. I think it’s all the green in Georgia’s photo.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:23 pm

  10. I read this twice then again. So much said in 100 words. Bravo. (Love the name Myfwany.)

    aliciajamtaas

    January 24, 2015 at 1:04 am

    • Thank you Alicia. I’m glad 100 words was enough to tell the story. I love the name too – we need more Myfanwys in the world.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:24 pm

  11. That was all going along so happily until the last line. Very good!

    draliman

    January 24, 2015 at 7:13 am

    • It was. I really must try harder to keep with the happy, skipping moments and do less of the miserable stuff 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:24 pm

  12. Ooomph…. that last line was so sad. Nicely done.

    jannatwrites

    January 24, 2015 at 9:13 am

  13. Dear Sarah Ann,

    You’ve led me, skipping down the primrose path, full of lovely imagery, only find a ghostly ending. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    January 24, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    • I normally steer clear of ghost stories, as I’m not sure I can make them work. This one just felt right. Glad you liked the imagery and I was able to get it across.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:52 pm

  14. Dear Sarah,

    This was well written and lyrical. You succeeded admirable in ensnaring us in your web of words. Lovely and, in the end, sad and heartbreaking. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    dmmacilroy

    January 24, 2015 at 1:59 pm

  15. Excellent piece Sarah Ann. I loved the language too ‘ ‘a stand of hazel’, ‘vetch’ (not something you hear often these days) Even the choice of Myfanwy for a name – inspired thinking. Well done, you’ve hit your stride again.

    Sandra

    January 25, 2015 at 11:33 am

    • Thank you, Sandra. I started out with the name and everything grew from there. I like ‘stand’ of trees – it’s so descriptive, and vetch just happens to be a plant I recognise easily, which is maybe why I see it everywhere.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:57 pm

  16. Dear Sarah Ann, I loved the way you weaved the story so cleverly and so sad! Well done! Nan 🙂

    Nan Falkner

    January 25, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    • Thanks Nan. I feel this story wove me – she’s a strong character that Myfanwy.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:58 pm

  17. Sarah Ann,
    Your story this week is crafted in the style of many old Celtic tales. I like the tragedy. It fits the tone and culture from which you drew the names.
    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    storydivamg

    January 26, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    • I wish I’d had Celtic tales in mind when I wrote. I started with the name, and it flowed from there – thankfully.

      Sarah Ann

      January 26, 2015 at 9:47 pm

  18. The story has such a lyrical quality. It reminds me of the tune, My Bonny lies over the ocean, My Bonny lies over the sea..a favourite of mine.

    Lily

    hafong

    January 26, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    • Thanks Lily for your comment. I’ve got that song in my head now. Myfanwy was a bonny lass, so I can see the connection.

      Sarah Ann

      January 28, 2015 at 8:30 pm

  19. Poor little ghost who was left behind. Very tragic story. She had a short, but happy life. Well done. — Suzanne

    Suzanne Joshi

    January 28, 2015 at 5:57 am

    • I’m glad you felt she had a happy life. I’m feeling bit guilty about making it so short. Thanks for reading.

      Sarah Ann

      January 28, 2015 at 8:28 pm

  20. The last line has such a tremendous ache about it – “shunning memories of a girl found floating, flowers in her hair” – to add that sense of abandonment to her death… oh!

    It’s a beautifully phrased line, though 🙂

    Blake

    January 28, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    • It took a while to find the right verb for the missing friends – ‘avoiding memories’ felt too passive. I hadn’t thought abandonment, but your comment’s put it in mind and made me feel even more for poor Myfanwy. Thank you for it.

      Sarah Ann

      January 30, 2015 at 12:58 pm


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