Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 12/9/14 – Friday

with 35 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

At any point during the following week, the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Read the other stories by clicking below.

 

Many thanks to Janet for the photo and Rochelle for hosting.

I’m not sure my effort is a story. I’m feeling as frazzled as my character, but didn’t want to miss another week, so this is not as polished as I’d like.

 

 

Copyright - Janet Webb

Copyright – Janet Webb

 

Friday

(Genre: General Fiction;100-words)

This morning’s train was late. Her boss left for his meeting without the vital paperwork or his phone. Ally chases around all day, her plans wrecked.

At home there are three unintelligible answer-phone messages from her mother, Jim is stuck in traffic, the cat has puked an assault course of fur-balls, and Jessie has been dumped.

Ally pours a glass of wine and runs a bath.

She glides in. The water scolds, then sooths. Her toes frolic.

She settles back, cradling her glass. Eyes closed, muscles relaxing, stress crawls away allowing exhaustion to sidle in.

Her head droops.

Wine spills.

 

 
Friday Fictioneers

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

September 12, 2014 at 10:50 pm

35 Responses

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  1. I thought the story was fine. She was indeed frazzled though.

    JackieP

    September 12, 2014 at 11:14 pm

  2. Are you sure that’s not you? 🙂 Sorry life’s been so hectic for you recently and hoping it’s better soon. I’m hoping she didn’t drown there at the end and just fell asleep (although in a full tub, that’s dangerous.) This is my favorite line…”the cat has puked an assault course of fur-balls.” I can imagine that and it’s not a pleasant thought, but it did make me laugh.

    janet

    sustainabilitea

    September 13, 2014 at 12:55 am

    • Definitely not me. I’m leaving the drowning or not to the discretion of the reader. And glad you liked the fur-ball line – that was the one that came most naturally of all of these.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:35 pm

  3. love the words “the water scolds” and you may want to check the spelling on the word sooth or soothes? wonderful story and hope your character finds some peace after her bath…not drowning though. 🙂

    Sun

    September 13, 2014 at 1:39 am

    • I think I need to check spelling of scold as well – did I mean scold or scald? Hopefully she’ll wake up relaxed. More likely someone will barge in on her and wake her up. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:36 pm

  4. I think you’ve done a great job with the mundane! Very descriptive! And might I add, I love your blog headline! Exactly what I’d have used 😉

    Shailaja/ The Moving Quill

    September 13, 2014 at 2:26 am

    • Thank you. I hadn’t thought of it was mundane, but then maybe that’s because it’s not a life I’m used to. Glad you like the headline too. I sometimes think I need to change the order, but then I think it fits just fine.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:42 pm

  5. Poor woman — too many crises in one day! I’d be falling asleep in the bathtub too.
    Great job!

    Blog It Or Lose It

    September 13, 2014 at 2:35 am

    • It was all that rushing around after her boss that pushed her over the edge. She can normally cope with the family’s crises.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:43 pm

      • I can appreciate that ….

        J

        September 16, 2014 at 1:45 am

  6. Me being me, I immediately thought “exhaustion plus wine plus hot bath equals drowned”. Great story, whether she drowned or just fell asleep!

    draliman

    September 13, 2014 at 9:16 am

    • Thanks. I was leaving the drowning or not to the reader. Me being me, I imagined that after sleep comes a slow slide under the surface to permanent rest. So let’s hope she’s not sleeping too deeply.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:45 pm

  7. God Nooooo don’t spill the wine!!! 😉

    ramblingsfromamum

    September 13, 2014 at 11:47 am

    • Criminal isn’t it! I don’t think it was a great vintage though, so not too much lost. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:46 pm

  8. Ah – to bathe in wine is good for the skin I’ve heard. Falling asleep in the bath is perhaps not the best way…

    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    September 13, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    • Will any wine do or does it need to be champagne for the skin? You’re right though, falling asleep is not a good idea. A little more forethought was required.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:48 pm

  9. Oh man! What a day! No wonder she wants a relaxing soak. I guess didn’t need that glass of wine after all. Oops! Maybe she’ll pour another glass later. Great story, Sarah.

    Amy Reese

    September 13, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    • I think she’ll pour herself another glass later. Or maybe Jim will take her one once he gets home. Nope, thinking about it, he’ll probably just pour himself one and go on about his bad day 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:56 pm

  10. There was never a more graphic image than ‘an assault course of furballs’. That cat should be made to clean it up. A nice little vignette, Sarah Ann – I enjoyed it.

    Sandra

    September 14, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    • Thanks Sandra. You’ve left me wondering how you get a cat to clear up it’s fur-balls, this one being especially recalcitrant I imagine.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:54 pm

  11. Had to laugh at the furballs (they do know how to hack them in the most inconvenient places!)

    jannatwrites

    September 14, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    • Good to know the fur balls worked. Not having cats, they aren’t something I have to deal with, but I’ve witnessed a few coughing up fits in my time.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 7:57 pm

  12. Dear Sarah Ann,

    Like others, I thought the assault course of fur balls was brilliant. However I wasn’t sure who Jessie was. Nonetheless, I felt Ally’s need for a steaming hot bath and a glass of wine. If ever there was a story most of us can relate to, it’s yours. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    September 15, 2014 at 1:12 am

    • Thanks Rochelle. I think I’ve probably tried to cram too much into this story. Jessie is Ally and Jim’s daughter. I imagined she phoned/ texted her mum about the latest let down and then locked herself in her room where she’s cried herself to sleep. Sometimes 100-words just isn’t enough. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 8:00 pm

  13. Dear Sarah Ann, Purrfect description of the fur balls – I snorted out loud and cola came through my nose – give me a warning next time – just kidding – this was absolutely great! Unless she took some pills too, the water would probably wake her up but it’s not wise to drink and take a bath. Good job! Nan 🙂

    Nan Falkner

    September 15, 2014 at 9:15 am

    • Sorry Nan. I promise to include a warning next time I write about fur balls! No, she hasn’t taken any pills. I expect the water will wake her up when her face reaches it. Hope so anyway.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 8:02 pm

  14. A very vivid description of an extremely rough day. I’m reminded of the girl in the old bath-beads commercial, “Calgon, take me away.”

    rgayer55

    September 15, 2014 at 11:56 am

    • I looked up the commercial and can see why it would come to mind. Over here (UK) Calgon goes in our washing machines to stop them getting clogged up with limescale. I’m wondering whether it’s the same Calgon soothing your lady-in-the-bath’s skin 😉

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 8:05 pm

  15. This reminds me of some Fridays I’ve been through. I hope she got her wine topped up. Well told.

    margirene

    September 15, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    • Thank you. Hopefully you don’t have too many Fridays like this. I think the wine was topped up at some point.

      Sarah Ann

      September 15, 2014 at 8:06 pm

  16. Makes my life seem simple! Well done – love the hair-balls.

    aliciajamtaas

    September 16, 2014 at 3:03 pm

  17. Sarah Ann, Good story. I wonder if wine and water are good for the skin. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

    patriciaruthsusausan

    September 16, 2014 at 9:57 pm

  18. Sounds like an exhausting crazy day that is better behind her.

    Kathy Combs (@Kathy29156)

    September 17, 2014 at 7:52 pm


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