Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 18/7/14 – untitled

with 32 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

At any point during the following week, the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Read the other stories by clicking below.

 

I’m late again this week but I do have a couple of excuses. I spent much of Friday inside an MRI scanner as part of a medical research project, and mum-in-law has been staying. Needless to say my story, if that it be, has no title or genre identification.

Thanks to Adam Ickes for this week’s photo and Rochelle for keeping us on our toes.

 

PHOTO PROMPT - Copyright - Adam Ickes

Copyright – Adam Ickes

 

Untitled (100-words)

God I feel awful. At least I’m home. I can’t remember much about last night, but I know I didn’t drink that much.

Oh no. Not this. Not a bloody attack. Not now. Not on top of whatever this crappy feeling is.

Where’s my inhaler?

Why does Ed have to leave all his shit lying around the place?

Couldn’t find my keys for three hours yesterday.

Where’s my phone?

If I can’t find – my inhaler – perhaps – I can – ring – someone.

Not – on – the cabinet.

Where?

Breathing – getting –

worse.

Where –

is –

it?

Ed?

Not –

feeling –

good.

Not –

go-

 

 

Friday Fictioneers

 

If this needs an explanation then it didn’t work. If you want one, then here it is. Adam’s photo set me thinking about being able to change heads à la Worzel Gummidge, which got me thinking about the wonderful and greatly missed Charlotte Coleman and what must have been a terrible and frightening end.

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

July 19, 2014 at 3:55 pm

32 Responses

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  1. It is subtly explicit. 🙂

    yarnspinnerr

    July 19, 2014 at 4:06 pm

  2. Oh my God, Sarah. I loved her as Scarlett. I had no idea she died and that is happened this way. So tragic. Well executed story.

    Amy Reese

    July 20, 2014 at 5:52 am

    • Thanks, Amy. As I said I can’t imagine how terrifying it must have been, but glad I was able to get some of that across.

      Sarah Ann

      July 21, 2014 at 7:39 pm

  3. I remember reading about her death some while back. Such a terrible shame, and a dreadful way to go. A unique take on the prompt.

    Sandra

    July 20, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    • I can’t believe it, but when I checked it was 2001 when she died. And I agree it must have been horrible. Thanks for the read. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      July 21, 2014 at 7:43 pm

  4. Well done – the story needed no explanation but the link was interesting. You really got the feeling of lost breath and panic across.

    aliciajamtaas

    July 20, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    • Thank you. I wasn’t sure whether the spacing was going to work so am happy to hear the panic and breathlessness came across. It’s good to know spacing and chopping can create the desired effect.

      Sarah Ann

      July 21, 2014 at 8:08 pm

  5. I don’t have asthma, but I swear I was almost gasping by the end. Power of suggestion (and powerful writing!)

    jannatwrites

    July 20, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    • Thank you. I wasn’t sure whether this would work. It was definitely one of those pieces where I hoped people would come along with me. Sorry to have made you breathless in all the wrong ways.

      Sarah Ann

      July 21, 2014 at 7:18 pm

  6. Sounds like she’s having a panic attach inside the MRI scanner. I feel breathless reading it>

    Lily

    hafong

    July 20, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    • That’s good to know although I can say lying down in an MRI scanner is quite peaceful compared to this I think.

      Sarah Ann

      July 21, 2014 at 7:46 pm

  7. Sharply poignant. Great job.

    ahtdoucette

    July 20, 2014 at 11:54 pm

  8. hmmm there’s some description in here

    Tina from The Sunny Side of Life

    tinabasu

    July 21, 2014 at 10:14 am

  9. Dear Sarah Ann,

    You have me searching for an inhaler and I don’t even have one. 😉 Just enough reference to the prompt. Nicely done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    July 21, 2014 at 10:48 am

    • Thank you Rochelle. Yes, it was a bit of a tangential connection this week – I think I managed it with all the clutter lying about. Good to know you were reaching for your nonexistent inhaler.

      Sarah Ann

      July 21, 2014 at 7:25 pm

  10. Dear Sarah, I do have asthma but rarely need to use the inhaler – but when I used to smoke, I would have asthma attacks a lot so I needed the inhaler and kept it near. Well done on the story! I like how you spaced out the words as if breathing was difficult – good imagery! Over all, excellent! Nan 🙂

    Nan Falkner

    July 21, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    • Many thanks, Nan. I don’t have asthma but have had friends over the years who have and watching a bad attack can be quite frightening. Well done you for quitting smoking and thanks for the comment.

      Sarah Ann

      July 21, 2014 at 8:22 pm

  11. Wow -this is terrifying!

    I’d never heard of Worzel Gummidge – so thank you for the info too. So sad. 😦

    My great aunt died of an asthma attack and I’ve always thought that would be a horrible way to die.

    The writing here really brought out her fears and the sensation of struggling to breathe & so yes – the layout was quite effective.

    Blog It Or Lose It

    July 21, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    • Terrifying is good to know. That wasn’t quite the effect I was going for, but I’m happy to accept the praise – thank you.

      Sarah Ann

      July 23, 2014 at 9:04 pm

  12. I had to read the explanation to get the link (although I thought it was the sheep setting off your protagonist’s asthma). As a fellow asthmatic I was shocked by Charlotte Coleman’s death. And your story rings so true – thankfully it’s a while since I’ve had a proper attack but that sudden overwhelming panic is so perfectly described.

    elappleby

    July 21, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    • Wow, thank you. I’ve only ever seen a friend’s attacks so to hear my description rings true is really heartening. I can’t imagine not being able to breathe, or maybe I can which is why I find the whole idea horrifying.

      Sarah Ann

      July 23, 2014 at 9:09 pm

  13. That must be a terribly frightening way to go. It’s scary to think that for many people the difference between life and death can be how far away the inhaler is. Well written!

    draliman

    July 22, 2014 at 7:54 am

    • Thanks for the comment. I think you comment makes the fear even starker – life and death dependent on how far away the inhaler is.

      Sarah Ann

      July 23, 2014 at 9:14 pm

  14. Sarah Ann, That was a good story and well written, but terrifying. I looked up the link, but wasn’t familiar with that actress. I had an aunt who suffered from those attacks. She was rushed to the hospital near death a number of times. I guess an inhalor wasn’t enough for her and she finally died of the condition. She’d been a chain smoker and stopped too late. Well done. 🙂 —Susan

    patriciaruthsusan

    July 22, 2014 at 9:04 am

    • I have friends who smoked with asthma. At one time I think it was considered good for the condition. Now apparently learning wind instruments and singing are better ideas and help by exercising the lungs. Thank you for your encouraging comment.

      Sarah Ann

      July 23, 2014 at 9:17 pm

  15. What a scary story! I’ve been struggling with some less severe attacks and your story actually made my chest tighten. Well done!

    Sarah

    July 22, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    • Thank you for letting me know, although I hope it didn’t tighten too much and after you stopped reading it went back to normal. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      July 23, 2014 at 9:11 pm

  16. A great write, Sarah! The panic is certainly very palpable in your words. What a terrible way to die.

    Gabriella

    July 23, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    • Thank you. Panic was the effect I was trying for. Indeed, this must be a terrible way to die.

      Sarah Ann

      July 23, 2014 at 9:13 pm


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