Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 30/5/14 – The Wedding Party

with 32 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

At any point during the following week, the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Read the other stories by clicking below.

 

Thanks to Jennifer for this week’s photo.

 

 

The Wedding Party

(Genre: Historical Fiction/ Fairytale; 100-words)

Yesterday, I waved from the palace balcony. This morning, I wander deserted streets. My people revelled in my marriage and will not wake until afternoon, many useless even then.

My husband sleeps still, after the laudanum-spiced wine I generously provided to slow his pawing. He will awaken eventually, a dagger covered in my father’s blood resting in his hand. With the king dead, I doubt I will be missed.

I leave as one of my people, dressed in borrowed clothes, embracing a peasant’s life to escape the whims of men. The country stretches away before me, coaxing me on.

 

 

Friday Fictioneers

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Written by Sarah Ann

May 30, 2014 at 6:19 pm

32 Responses

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  1. AlI can I think about is, “Out, OUT, damned spot! OUT, I say!”
    I like the heroine moving forward … because she can.

    wmqcolby

    May 31, 2014 at 5:03 am

    • Ah, you’ve got me thinking now – what about all those heroines unable through circumstance to move? Thanks for the read.

      Sarah Ann

      May 31, 2014 at 8:45 pm

  2. That was a lot to get across in a hundred words, but you did it really well. Great voice.

    Sandra

    May 31, 2014 at 6:19 am

    • Thank you – on the voice. I wasn’t sure about her – she started out a bit over-bearing.

      Sarah Ann

      May 31, 2014 at 8:46 pm

  3. I agree with Sandra. You successfully poured the sea in to a tea-pot.

    yarnspinnerr

    May 31, 2014 at 9:47 am

    • Oh Aesop, that is such a great comment, and image. I love the idea of pouring the sea into a tea-pot. Thank you. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      May 31, 2014 at 8:47 pm

  4. Dear Sarah Ann,

    I’m apparently ignorant of the history here. At any rate, this family puts the D in dysfunctional. It seems extreme that she killed her father and implicated her new husband. I fear she may find life as a peasant worse than being a princess or queen.

    A suggestion…might “beckons” be a more fitting than “coaxing me on?”

    I did enjoy your story. A lot said in few words.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    May 31, 2014 at 10:02 am

    • Thanks Rochelle. I think I was counting this as historical in its broadest sense – should probably have stuck with fairytale. And yes, ‘beckons’ works better. I tried many combinations but had pared down too much this week. (I need to get over my obsession with being bang on 100-words.) Yes, she may be deluded about her future life as a peasant but she’ll learn.

      Sarah Ann

      May 31, 2014 at 8:50 pm

  5. Dear Sarah Ann,

    One ‘l’ in reveled. I think ‘laced’ instead of ‘spiced’ because spice just isn’t the best word there. It leads people astray from your good story’s unfolding. Oh, and if she thinks she’s going to escape the whims of men dressed as a peasant, well, that’s another story, I guess. Still and all, this was well told and held me rapt as each page was turned. (Why wouldn’t they miss the princess after the King was murdered?)

    These are, of course my ‘everybody’s got one’ opinions. My apologies if I’ve offended. Insert best John Cleese impersonation here.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    dmmacilroy

    May 31, 2014 at 10:06 am

    • Hi Doug. Thank you for the comment – it’s just what I need. ‘Revelled’ is the UK spelling – not sure of the reason we double up. I went with ‘laced’ initially but didn’t like ‘laudanum-laced’ – thought the alliteration stood out too much. Yes, her escaping the whims (or not) of men as a peasant is a bit of a dream. Maybe she feels her presence and poise will deflect them? As for not missing the princess, she’s hoping the court will be so occupied with her husband killing his new father-in-law that they might pin her disappearance on him as well and not look into it further.
      Please keep your opinions coming – not sure about the Cleese impersonation though. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      May 31, 2014 at 8:58 pm

  6. Oh a dark lady indeed.. but I’m sure there is a reason for her escape…

    • There is – but I’ve not pinned it down. As Rochelle pointed out, killing her husband and father is a little extreme. I’m not sure I want to investigate what pushed her that far.

      Sarah Ann

      May 31, 2014 at 8:59 pm

  7. It must have been quite something to drive her to these lengths, but now she’s away. Hopefully she enjoys her life, and that her actions don’t cause a war over the throne!
    Cool story 🙂 In years to come she could have a baby who grows up, finds out who he is and determines to regain the throne – fairytale stuff!

    draliman

    June 1, 2014 at 7:11 am

    • I wish I could see that far ahead. I’m worried she’s going to rub one of those peasants up the wrong way and come a cropper. We’ll have to wait for a suitable photo prompt to tell your much more uplifting story.

      Sarah Ann

      June 1, 2014 at 3:30 pm

  8. Brilliant and very well written story. Love the atmosphere

    Weltchysnotebook

    June 1, 2014 at 12:15 pm

  9. her father and husband must’ve treated her horribly for her to prefer the streets… i wish for her a life of adventure and i hope she finds what she’s looking for… very well-written stuff

    K.Z.

    June 1, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    • Thanks KZ. I don’t think I’ve invested enough time on her backstory or future – that’s the thing with 100-words – but living a life of adventure from now on sounds good.

      Sarah Ann

      June 2, 2014 at 9:02 pm

  10. This was wonderfully done. The storyline, the writing. I really loved it. Lucy

    Lucy

    June 1, 2014 at 6:16 pm

  11. escape the whims of men. I wish her well.

    aliciajamtaas

    June 1, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    • Well, she’s hoping she will. But, as others have pointed out, she’s probably lived quite a sheltered life up until now, so anything could happen.

      Sarah Ann

      June 2, 2014 at 9:04 pm

  12. when someone is driven to extremes such as your main character, it’s either for a very good reason or mental instability. i love the touch you added with the laudanum laced wine. ha! 🙂

    Sun

    June 2, 2014 at 4:39 am

    • I think in this case it was a good reason, but now you’ve got me thinking…. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      June 2, 2014 at 9:00 pm

  13. Sarah Ann, Good story. If you write a future faity-tale ending, you could either go with Alastair’s ending or have her go and become one of Robin Hood’s merry men (disguised as a man). The way peasants lived in those days she can look forward to a life of grinding labor and poverty for which she’s unfortunately not prepared. She’ll surely pay for any wrongs she may have committed. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

    patriciaruthsusan

    June 2, 2014 at 8:11 am

    • Thank you, Susan. I see you don’t condone her behaviour. I’ll have to wait for that suitable prompt to see where she goes – maybe retribution/ rehabilitation through hard work is the way 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      June 2, 2014 at 9:00 pm

  14. My guess is her father arranged her marriage to some old geezer to further his kingdom. Though, I think she’ll find the peasant route not to pleasant.

    rgayer55

    June 2, 2014 at 11:44 am

    • Yep, I think you’re on the right lines. I haven’t looked far enough ahead to know whether she’ll like the peasant life, but I suspect not.

      Sarah Ann

      June 2, 2014 at 8:58 pm

  15. This was an interesting piece because the story you didn’t tell is as intriguing as the part you did reveal. It’s quite apparent she didn’t want the marriage and was desperate for any way out.

    jannatwrites

    June 6, 2014 at 4:46 am

    • Hi Janna, All the comments I’ve had make me think I should go back and look at her backstory… Thanks for reading.

      Sarah Ann

      June 8, 2014 at 8:12 pm


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