Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 28/3/14 – A Place of Greater Safety

with 25 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

Every Friday (or before) the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Visit Rochelle’s site for the rules on how to join in and check out the other stories by clicking on the blue guy.

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On the scale of 1-immediate to 5-still thinking about it, this week’s prompt was a 1. Hooray! Yippety doo dah! Of course, I’m still late, but it’s still Friday in Hawaii (just).

Many thanks to John Nixon for the photo, and Hilary Mantel for my story’s title.

 

Copyright - John Nixon

Copyright – John Nixon

 

 

A Place of Greater Safety

(Genre: General Fiction; 100-words)

The crook of branch that today supports my back, cradled me as a babe. As a youngster I climbed mountains here, hid behind statues of marble. The carpet was of bluebell; the silver skins of birches marked our paths.

But things change.

Winds whisper, leaves rustle, rain patters just the same. The pungent fertility of mould rises as I kick the ground. Chestnuts, berries, and chicken o’ the woods nourish me still.

But where light once dappled, the forest is now entangled: impenetrable to strangers. My childhood playground is an assault course, and we outlaws live here safely and well.

 

 

Friday Fictioneers

 

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

March 29, 2014 at 10:52 am

25 Responses

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  1. How we see things as children and how they can change. How our environment also sadly changes for the worse. x

    ramblingsfromamum

    March 29, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    • Hopefully the environment can change for the better. If we look after it, maybe it’ll look after us.

      Sarah Ann

      March 31, 2014 at 10:25 pm

  2. An excellent take ………. so much has really changed.

    yarnspinnerr

    March 29, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    • The forest has changed and the world around it. I think my protagonist might be the same as ever.

      Sarah Ann

      March 31, 2014 at 10:25 pm

  3. what a great take 🙂 i like how everything morphed so drastically in just a few words

    K.Z.

    March 29, 2014 at 7:16 pm

  4. Such beautiful description, Sarah. Really a pleasure to read.

    Amy Reese

    March 30, 2014 at 12:27 am

  5. Wonderful take on the prompt. I love it – The outlaws live there – very clever indeed! Thanks, Nan 🙂

    Nan Falkner

    March 30, 2014 at 6:34 am

    • Thanks, Nan. Very glad you enjoyed it. I didn’t want the forest to be a creepy or dangerous place, so it had to be a home for someone, and outlaws seemed as good as any.

      Sarah Ann

      March 31, 2014 at 10:23 pm

  6. Dear Sarah Ann,

    Perceptions and circumstances change as we grow up, don’t they? A well layered story. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    March 30, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    • Thank you, Rochelle. I still can’t get over how much smaller chocolate bars are now I’m all grown up. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      March 31, 2014 at 10:21 pm

  7. Ah, stay safe. So good.

    patrickprinsloo

    March 30, 2014 at 6:13 pm

  8. I’m really intrigued by the bigger story you are only hinting at here.. the reason for hiding in the old playground

    • You’ll have to tell me, or I’m going to have to do a lot more thinking to learn the back-story. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      March 31, 2014 at 10:20 pm

  9. Good descriptions covering so much, yet leave much to our imaginations.

    janet

    sustainabilitea

    March 31, 2014 at 2:16 am

  10. The last line hints at so much more story! It makes me wonder if more has changed in the forest itself, or in how the character views the forest.

    jannatwrites

    March 31, 2014 at 5:23 am

    • I think both character and forest have changed over the years, maybe the forest the most. You’ve left me wondering…

      Sarah Ann

      March 31, 2014 at 10:19 pm

  11. A great appetiser – well done.

    Sandra

    March 31, 2014 at 8:21 am

  12. such a beautiful prose. well done.

    plaridel

    April 1, 2014 at 5:24 pm

  13. There are some gorgeous lines here, Sarah Ann: the first and the Winds whisper sentence are my favourites. I’m left slightly confused as to the nature of the narrator – is she some sort of outlaw Robin Hood style, or has she not quite grown up? I’d like to feel a bit more rooted – for the reader to see reality even if the narrator can’t – but if you were going for mystery, you’ve hid the nail right on the head.

    elmowrites

    April 2, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    • See, that’s what I need! Your comment shows I didn’t use gender specific activities (climbing mountains/ assault courses) to indicate the narrator’s gender. The passage of time between childhood and ‘now’ isn’t clear. And the words ‘But things change’ aren’t enough to convey that society has changed so much for the narrator now to be considered an outlaw. Thank you! When you have time, please come again!

      Sarah Ann

      April 3, 2014 at 4:34 pm


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