Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 21/3/14 – As One

with 30 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

Every Friday (or before) the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word tales. Visit Rochelle’s site for the rules on how to join in and check out the other stories by clicking on the blue guy.

 

 

Following on from last week’s attempt to rate the photo in terms of the number/ rapidity of story ideas generated, this was another 4.5. I think my muse is playing hard to get. Still, once the idea came, it wouldn’t let me go. Unfortunately, life and work have intervened since Wednesday, which is why I’m not posting until Sunday evening, but I’m not late until the linky closes….

Many thanks to Rochelle for this week’s photo.

–––––

 

As One

(Genre: Contemporary/ Romantic Fiction, 98-words)

Short of breath, David entered the lift. Legs tired, shoulders aching, his bags of groceries almost dragged the floor, hanging limply from numb fingers.

As he rose, a girl flitted down the stairs, ebony curls skimming her shoulders. A spear of recognition cut. She looked just like his Eliza when they’d met, fifty years before. David shook away the silly thought. He was old now; Eliza was ten years dead.

He followed the girl’s progress. When she turned, Eliza’s eyes smiled up at him. A hand squeezed his heart, and sweet lips caressed his, as they were reunited.

 

Friday Fictioneers

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Written by Sarah Ann

March 23, 2014 at 8:19 pm

30 Responses

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  1. it seems to me that he died and eliza came to pick him up. beautiful story.

    plaridel

    March 23, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    • Yes, that’s what I planned and I’m glad it worked. Thank you for commenting

      Sarah Ann

      March 26, 2014 at 12:25 pm

  2. Oh, wow! That was well worth the wait! I love what you did with the elevator/stairs combination. Superb, definitely my favorite from this week.

    Judah First

    March 23, 2014 at 11:31 pm

  3. I really, really liked this. Thanks for the creepy ‘flashback’ and he had a long awaited reunion with his love! Great piece. Nan

    Nan Falkner

    March 24, 2014 at 12:44 am

    • Thanks. I hope it wasn’t too creepy – it wasn’t as I wrote and edited, but does seem more so on a re-read.

      Sarah Ann

      March 26, 2014 at 12:27 pm

  4. Sounds like a heart attack that finally united him with his lost love. Good job, Sarah.

    janet

    sustainabilitea

    March 24, 2014 at 1:29 am

    • Hi Janet. That’s exactly what I’d hope to convey. Thanks for letting me know it worked. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      March 26, 2014 at 12:28 pm

  5. They were finally joined once more, beautiful little capture though ‘sniff’ x

    ramblingsfromamum

    March 24, 2014 at 5:17 am

  6. Really liked this one.

    yarnspinnerr

    March 24, 2014 at 9:13 am

  7. Dear Sarah Ann,

    A little spooky and sweet at the same time. Nice one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    March 24, 2014 at 9:37 am

    • Thank you Rochelle. I hope to be speedier with my posting and commenting this week. I live in hope anyway.

      Sarah Ann

      March 26, 2014 at 12:32 pm

  8. Definitely time to say goodbye/hello. Bitter sweet piece, but he was getting tired. Great stuff.

    patrickprinsloo

    March 24, 2014 at 11:00 am

    • He was definitely tired and ready to go. Thanks for the read and comment.

      Sarah Ann

      March 26, 2014 at 12:33 pm

  9. Oh,the final goodbye-what a way to go!A sweet but sad story-hopefully he is at peace again:-)Well done Sarah!

    atrm61

    March 24, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    • I think he’s at peace, but together they are skipping and dancing up the stairs. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      March 26, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      • That’s a beautiful image for the romantic in me Sarah:-)

        atrm61

        March 28, 2014 at 2:51 pm

  10. 4.5 or not, this is a grand story. I also like how you combined the lift/stairwell. Loved that she came to greet him before he passed on; I’m sure it made his transition so much easier. Lovely, lovely story. :>

    Wandering Voiceless

    March 25, 2014 at 8:18 am

  11. Oh, this is so sweet, but sad! Nice job on the story (looks like you caught your muse here 🙂 )

    jannatwrites

    March 25, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    • Thanks Janna. Yes the muse was definitely in control of this one. She does take her time to get going though.

      Sarah Ann

      March 26, 2014 at 12:37 pm

  12. Lovely story of a reunited couple. Well done. A bit sad, but all-in-all a happy ending. 🙂

    patriciaruthsusan

    March 25, 2014 at 9:08 pm

  13. Beautifully written,Sarah! You wowed me with this 🙂

    tinkerbelle96

    March 26, 2014 at 5:21 pm

  14. Ah, what a sweet story. She came back from the other side to help him across.

    rgayer55

    March 27, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    • Thanks Russell, and yes she did. Can’t wait to see you back here at FF with your fun and witty stories 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      March 27, 2014 at 9:42 pm


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