Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 28/6/13 – Oops

with 23 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to stimulate and inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry. The Friday Fictioneers then post their stories.

Visit Rochelle’s site for the details of how to join in and read the other stories by clicking on the blue guy.

 

copyright - Indira

copyright – Indira (follow the link to her first FF story) by way of Scott Vanatter

 

Oops (100 words)

My head hurts.

Hell, I can’t see straight.

Throbbing in left shoulder I’m not happy about. Better check extremities. Legs and arms still there; no obvious stickiness or bones poking through. Thank God.

Need to get out of this ditch. Haven’t got the purchase. Or the breath. Chin and chest too close together, no space for lungs.

Why is it people think they know what’s best for me? Just because Jimmy was tired of pushing. Knew the electric wheelchair was a bad idea. At least it stayed upright.

Can reach phone. Hope he’s not busy. Don’t care if he is.

 

 

Advertisements

Written by Sarah Ann

June 28, 2013 at 8:06 pm

23 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. ouch! At least he’s ok, just a bit fuzzy. Nice take on the picture.

    JackieP

    June 28, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    • Thanks Jackie. Yes, he’s okay. Once I’d finished, I wondered what would happen if he wasn’t, but that’s another story (and probably more than 100 words).

      Sarah Ann

      June 29, 2013 at 11:43 am

      • I would read it. 🙂

        JackieP

        June 29, 2013 at 4:14 pm

  2. Oops is right! Jimmy better hope the narrator doesn’t catch up with him soon!

    janet

    sustainabilitea

    June 29, 2013 at 12:18 am

    • Unfortunately, I don’t think the narrator is going anywhere soon, not without help. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      June 29, 2013 at 11:44 am

  3. That was a different angle on the prompt – nice one.

    Sandra

    June 29, 2013 at 7:57 am

    • It was the position of the road in the photo that go me here. Unless you’re lying down then how …. and if you’re lying down, how did you get there? Thanks for the comment.

      Sarah Ann

      June 29, 2013 at 11:47 am

  4. Dear Sarah,

    Oops is right. Hard to breathe reading this one. Well done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    June 29, 2013 at 10:52 am

    • Hi Rochelle,
      I’m glad you found it hard to breathe. That was the intention of the short, sharp sentences, but I wasn’t sure I wasn’t cheating and just cramming the words in. 😉

      Sarah Ann

      June 29, 2013 at 11:48 am

  5. Jimmy got the electrical wheelchair for his own convenience, and it has now landed the narrator in trouble. At least, the narrator seems okay, but not comfortable

    nightlake

    June 29, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    • I didn’t want the narrator to be injured through Jimmy’s laziness. Hopefully once he’s retrieved from the ditch, a good brush down and he’ll be fine.

      Sarah Ann

      July 2, 2013 at 6:54 pm

  6. Very interesting. I was anxious, specially when the protagonist said s/he had no space for his/her lungs. What’s the beginning? And how does it go on?

    Kalpana

    June 29, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    • The no space for his lungs was to suggest his head and chest were squashed too close together as he lies in a ditch, where he has fallen from his wheelchair, and can see the traffic as it passes.

      Sarah Ann

      July 2, 2013 at 6:52 pm

  7. Well done! As I read this, I unconsciously put myself in his position, imaging what I would do. At least he has a phone.

    David Stewart

    June 30, 2013 at 2:21 am

    • I thought it would be too cruel to leave him there without any means of help. And Jimmy’s afternoon needs disrupting.

      Sarah Ann

      July 2, 2013 at 6:50 pm

  8. Well constructed little tale of woe for the poor wheel chair saddled victim.

    Lindaura Glamoura

    June 30, 2013 at 1:32 pm

  9. What was meant by “haven’t got the purchase”? That threw me for a loop. Otherwise, I got it.

    rgayer55

    July 1, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    • Hi Russell, Thanks for reading. The ‘haven’t got the purchase’ was meant to indicate the narrator hasn’t got anything to pull or push against to get himself out. He’s stuck and in need of help.

      Sarah Ann

      July 2, 2013 at 6:48 pm

  10. Quite tense little tale, very well told.
    Enjoyed it immensely.

    anelephantcant

    July 2, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    • Thank you. Fancy enjoying the fact that my narrator is head down in a ditch! Honestly.

      Sarah Ann

      July 3, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      • Yeah well, didn’t much care for the dude anyway!

        anelephantcant

        July 3, 2013 at 11:58 pm

      • Fair enough. You can’t like everybody I suppose. I suspect you might be friends with Jimmy and feel he’s the one getting the rough deal.

        Sarah Ann

        July 6, 2013 at 6:55 pm


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: