Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#VisDare 25 – Precarious – After the Club Closes

with 16 comments

I really liked Angela’s VisDare photo prompt this week. As ever, it has taken me a while to get my ideas into a coherent (I hope) story.

 

RULES:
150 words – or less.
Post entry to your blog and “link in”.
No blog? Post your 150 words in the comments.
(Please – no erotica or graphic violence.)
DON’T FORGET to read and comment on others’ entries!!
As always – thanks for participating!

 

 

After the Club Closes (150 words)

She hobbled between the tables towards the tinkling piano. The low red ceiling, heat left by retreating dancers, and thrum of distant traffic, which sounded like the coursing of blood, made the club feel womb-like, safe. She knew it wasn’t.

She kicked off her heels, spread her arms over the piano lid. ‘Play me something cheery,’ she half-smiled, then rolled her flesh over the soothing wood. It wasn’t only her shoes causing her problems

She gazed back the way she’d come, through the floating pools of light. The darkness helped, but she’d reached that age, that indeterminate middle. Her voice was strong, her face hadn’t started to sag, and her figure remained sculpted. Still, it wouldn’t be long now before her bookings dried up.

Despite herself, her foot started tapping in time with the music. Her throat picked up the tune. Damn it, she would go down fighting.

 

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

June 25, 2013 at 1:50 pm

16 Responses

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  1. I am partial to people who fight. 🙂

    erickeys

    June 25, 2013 at 2:15 pm

  2. And also to middle-aged folks. 🙂

    erickeys

    June 25, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    • A good thing you’re partial to the the middle-aged, especially as the middle keeps changing. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      June 26, 2013 at 7:38 pm

      • And I keep catching up to it!

        erickeys

        June 26, 2013 at 7:49 pm

      • 🙂 I fear we all do.

        Sarah Ann

        June 26, 2013 at 8:01 pm

  3. Well, we’ll all reach that point one day, I hope we all push life to its limits!

    lisashambrook

    June 25, 2013 at 2:24 pm

  4. Sarah – you conjured Michelle Pfeiffer on the Piano in the Fabulous Baker Boys for me – really enjoyed this.

    ramblingsfromamum

    June 26, 2013 at 12:54 am

    • I still haven’t seen that film all the way through – will have to make more of an effort now. I’m very glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to write, although editing the ideas into that first paragraph took an age.

      Sarah Ann

      June 26, 2013 at 7:40 pm

  5. Love the description here, especially in that opening paragraph. Such great use of subtle rebirth symbolism, thrust against the seemingly-about-to-shrivel predicament of the MC. She’s so scrappy and determined — love that. Great use of the prompt.

    • Thanks Angela. Your comments always make think about my writing differently – love your description of her ‘seemingly-about-to-shrivel predicament’.

      Sarah Ann

      June 27, 2013 at 8:26 pm

  6. As old age creeps up on me I’m determined to go down fighting as well, though I might give piano playing a miss!
    A great tale.

    Mike

    June 28, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    • Thanks for reading, Mike. Good luck with the fighting. The piano playing might keep those fingers nimble and give the brain a workout. (I’ve just started playing the piano after a 20 year break and it’s surprising how tired the hands and fingers get! It’s not the same as dancing over a computer keyboard!)

      Sarah Ann

      June 29, 2013 at 11:54 am

  7. That first paragraph sets your scene perfectly. Such wonderful descriptions . . . . and I love her determination!

    Dayle Lynne

    July 5, 2013 at 9:08 pm


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