Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not; practising flash fiction.

#Trifextra: 70 – A moment on a roof

with 13 comments

This week Trifecta are asking for 33-words based on the picture:



‘You’re not up here because of me?’

‘Don’t flatter yourself. I wanted to think. The view helps.’


‘It’s time I changed jobs.’

‘That’s it?’

‘It’s a start. I’m considering relationships next week.’



Written by Sarah Ann

June 2, 2013 at 10:17 pm

13 Responses

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  1. On the edge.


    June 2, 2013 at 10:20 pm

  2. Everything in time… Nice :))

  3. That must be a bummer. I hope he has room for her in his new life.


    June 3, 2013 at 4:13 am

  4. I can’t decide if he’s teasing or serious. In either case, it’s great dialog.


    June 3, 2013 at 4:35 am

    • From a woman’s pov I think she’s teasing with the last line, from a man’s, I’m not so sure.

      Sarah Ann

      June 3, 2013 at 8:46 pm

  5. I can’t tell from the dialogue if it’s the man or the woman who is considering change – I think it works either way. Kind of a harsh way to find you’re ‘on the bubble’ though 🙂


    June 3, 2013 at 5:35 am

    • I wrote it as the woman speaking, but then read it as the man. I think it works either way too. Hope so anyway.

      Sarah Ann

      June 3, 2013 at 8:45 pm

  6. I agree with Christine — great dialogue! Love all the implied “stuff” in their exchange, just hinting at what’s beneath the surface.


    June 3, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    • Thank you. I’d love to know what some of the implied stuff is too as I have no idea. Hopefully, it’s not too disruptive.

      Sarah Ann

      June 3, 2013 at 8:48 pm

  7. You have worked the pic well, I haven’t entered for so long, I agree with the others the dialogue was excellent, succinct and slightly curt but realistic.


    June 4, 2013 at 10:59 am

    • Definitely curt. Whichever of them was on the roof to start with wanted to be alone and the arriving partner had to be told as much.
      Looking forward to you entering again soon. I like the weekend Trifecta challenges because they only want 33-words. It takes me so long from seeing a prompt to having an idea that 33-words is about all I can manage.

      Sarah Ann

      June 4, 2013 at 7:47 pm

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