Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#VisDare 21 – Diverge – The Gatherers

with 8 comments

Ooops, I missed a week. Not sure how it happened, but here’s my story for this week’s VisDare challenge form Angela.

 

The rules:

150 words – or less.
Post entry to your blog and “link in”.

No blog? Post your 150 words in the comments below.

(Please – no erotica or graphic violence.)
–––––

The Gatherers (121 words)

They picked them up one by one, big and small, each as reverently as the first. Rough hewn boxes, uniform in shape, only the size giving an indication as to the age or gender within. There were no more gleaming surfaces and handles. Soon there would be only shrouds as the trees shrank back from the village.

All was quiet in the forest, birds flown, mammals burrowed or scampered away; the beasts wiser and more mobile than the human population. One touch of contaminated flesh and they too were infected.

The only presence from the big house now was the coach, offered to the citizens as recompense and succour. Small comfort for what the middle son had brought home with him.

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

May 28, 2013 at 11:29 am

Posted in Flash Fiction, VisDare

Tagged with , , , ,

8 Responses

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  1. Oh Sarah how visual – the trees shrinking back from the village… the middle son…. the plague? I am glad you entered.

    ramblingsfromamum

    May 28, 2013 at 11:36 am

    • Why thank you for that great comment. Yes, the plague, or something worse. I didn’t see anything good coming out of the photo this week.

      Sarah Ann

      May 28, 2013 at 1:20 pm

  2. That was so descriptive – a beautiful piece of prose..

    The Fiction Vixen

    May 28, 2013 at 8:42 pm

  3. First – so cleverly-paced – and youkeep your reader at YOUR pace by giving her/him delicious lexicon to chew on, but also so cleverly tailored-off@ wonderful finish. I keep missing Visdare too…must keep up with it.

    yerpirate

    May 28, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    • I love your comments. They are so rich and fulfilling. Thank you

      Sarah Ann

      May 28, 2013 at 10:43 pm

      • That was a crap reply to your comment, which always prompt me to think about my work in a different way. I’m not a very techincal writer so don’t think about things like pace, I just go with the feel and sound of things in my head. It’s really useful to have you point out what works and why.

        Sarah Ann

        May 29, 2013 at 11:11 am

  4. Such lyrical wording – gorgeously crafted. Not a wasted word or cardboard picture in the whole story. Lovely work!!! Thanks so much for entering!!!


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