Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 22/2/13 – The Barn

with 28 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo prompt to stimulate and inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry.

Every Friday (or before) the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word stories. Visit Rochelle’s site for the rules on how to join in and check out the other stories by clicking on the blue guy.


This week I thought I could come up with a crime-related story from the photo. Hubby had other ideas. He didn’t like my first interpretation of his idea, so I wrote another which, thankfully, passed muster.

 

Copyright-Janet Webb

Copyright-Janet Webb

 

The Barn 1 (100 words – Crime)

‘It’s perfect,’ Ella said, twirling and smiling in the sun. ‘So isolated.’

‘Just like it said in the brochure,’ Dan nodded and hugged her. ‘Let’s phone. Tell them we’ll have it.’

­­            —

‘This is the place?’ Inspector Ellis confirmed with his sergeant.

‘The mast triangulation put their phone here last Friday. The signal remained static before dying.’

‘There’s no sign of their car?’

‘No.’

‘And no witnesses?’

‘There isn’t a dwelling for miles around.’

The estate agent had found all previous isolated-barn-loving viewers discourteous.

Ellis and Peters found them inside the barn, in various poses, and stages of decomposition.

 

 

The Barn 2 (100 words – General fiction, hubby’s idea.)

‘Finished,’ Stan called from outside.

I dried my hands, walked into the sunlight. Stan had spent all day fixing the roof, while I’d spring-cleaned the house. I was looking forward to a well-earned dinner out.

‘What do you think?’ He spread his arms, grinning.

The barn looked the same as it had six hours earlier.

‘Of what?’

‘The fence.’

‘You were supposed to be doing the roof.’

‘I’m scared of heights.’

‘Since when?’

‘Forever. Now, what about the fence? Looks good now I’ve painted it, doesn’t it?’

‘Yes, Stan, but what about the roof?’

‘I’ll phone someone tomorrow.’

 

 

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Written by Sarah Ann

February 23, 2013 at 12:05 am

28 Responses

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  1. There both good. Hubby needs his own blog.

    lingeringvisions

    February 23, 2013 at 1:02 am

    • Hmmm. Hubby’s an ideas man and a two-finger typist. I made the suggestion but I wouldn’t hold your breath. Thanks for reading.

      Sarah Ann

      February 24, 2013 at 8:43 pm

  2. Enjoyed both of them. The second one really made me chuckle!

    H.L. Pauff (@HLPauff)

    February 23, 2013 at 1:30 am

    • I’m glad the second one made you laugh. I wasn’t sure about it. It’s not easy trying to get someone else’s ideas down, and he’s soooooo critical when I get it wrong! 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      February 24, 2013 at 9:00 pm

  3. Liked the first one better than the second. That’s just my opinion. 🙂

    Scriptor Obscura

    February 23, 2013 at 2:55 am

  4. Like them both in different ways.

    janet

    sustainabilitea

    February 23, 2013 at 3:27 am

  5. I’m not going to start a round of marital discord so I’ll just say I liked them both, but I like scary stories better. 😉

    Sandra

    February 23, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    • Marital discord is fine (and regular) so don’t be shy. I’ll have to practise writing scary stories. Time ran away from me this week and I’m not that happy with either of them. Thanks for stopping by.

      Sarah Ann

      February 24, 2013 at 8:47 pm

  6. I enjoyed both stories. Tell hubby he should start his own blog and join the fun.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

    rochellewisoff

    February 23, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    • Hi Rochelle,
      Well I told him, but he just laughed. He’d rather comment on my stories and ‘improve’ them, or give me ideas. Maybe I’ll stick to showing him the photos when I’m stuck for a story, but then he’ll complain I’m leaving him out. Oh well, another tightrope to negotiate. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      February 24, 2013 at 8:51 pm

  7. Both stories were good and a great take on the prompt.
    I’m with lingervisions and Rochelle, hubby should start his own blog. He sounds a lot like mine, except I’m usually the one ringing for the man-who-can!
    Dee

    40again

    February 23, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    • Thankfully my other half is quite handy (but crap at typing). When he looked at this week’s prompt he imagined a husband being sent out to do one job (the barn) but choosing to do the easy one (the newly painted fence) and the wife’s annoyance. Of course nothing like that ever happens here (?!). As for ringing a man-who-can, I usually nag him to make those calls.

      Sarah Ann

      February 24, 2013 at 8:56 pm

  8. enjoyed both, the latter sounds a bit like my real life!

    train-whistle

    February 23, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    • I hope your roof’s in better shape. Now go get those jobs done. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      February 24, 2013 at 11:22 pm

  9. First one is my favorite.

    Shirley McCann

    February 24, 2013 at 1:48 pm

  10. I kind of like the first one. I sometimes show my stories to my girl friend. She approves sometimes… Sometimes I don’t even bother though.

    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    February 24, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    • I think not bothering is safer, especially for an author’s ego.

      Sarah Ann

      February 24, 2013 at 11:09 pm

  11. I really liked the dialog in the second one, the first one was spooky!
    Quite a contrast! Very good work

    Parul

    February 26, 2013 at 6:44 am

    • Thanks, Parul. Contrast is good, which is why I like the genre idea and trying to put my stories into different boxes rather than staying with middle-of-the-road comfortable. Not sure it always works mind you.

      Sarah Ann

      February 26, 2013 at 8:30 pm

  12. I liked both. I think the second was hilarious. I don’t think the wife thought it was 🙂

    abraham

    February 26, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    • No, she definitely wasn’t laughing. I’m glad you found it funny though.

      Sarah Ann

      February 26, 2013 at 8:26 pm

  13. Pay no attention to the eyesore behind, feast your eyes on the insignificant fence! The second was my favorite, but I liked both. I hope your other half will consider creating his own as their is some humor in his bones.

    Joe Owens

    February 27, 2013 at 5:55 pm

    • Your first sentence sums up my other half’s thoughts exactly. But he won’t put finger to keyboard. He’ll just continue to express his thoughts through me, when I give him the chance.

      Sarah Ann

      February 28, 2013 at 4:07 pm


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