Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 11/01/13 – The Unwanted Gift – Humour

with 27 comments

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields publishes a photo to stimulate and inspire writers to write 100-words of flash fiction or poetry. Every Friday the Friday Fictioneers post their 100-word stories.

Visit Rochelle’s site for the rules on how to join in and check out the other stories by clicking on the blue guy.

 

Copyright-Roger Cohen

Copyright-Roger Cohen

 

 

The Unwanted Gift (100 words)

‘It’s a bit of a squeeze in here.’

‘I can’t help your problems.’

‘What’s made you so grumpy?’

‘She hasn’t touched me for weeks. At least you’ve been taken out and fondled.’

‘It was a mere stroke.’

‘But she bothered with you.’

‘Not for long. She’s too wrapped up in her new toy.’

‘Don’t I know it!’

‘She’s besotted.’

‘She’s obsessed with it. Puny, little, whiny thing.’

‘Reedy.’

‘Pathetic.’

‘What are we going to do?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘We’re too old and soporific for her now.’

‘Why didn’t he buy her a keyboard?’

‘A clarinet?’

‘Anything but a poxy violin!’

 

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27 Responses

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  1. Great dialogue, and love the last line! Snobbery in the Strings section hehe. Enjoyed very much. 🙂

  2. Well.tell old grumpy double bass that at his whining she’s gonna come home to rock it…hehehe, lovely dialogue.

    Charles Oyeleke Williams

    January 11, 2013 at 12:15 pm

  3. Wonderful dialogue. These ‘poxy violins’ – they get everywhere! Is there no stopping them!

    Mike

    January 11, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    • Thank you. Loved yours. Maybe 7B would like a go on a violin to give your double basses a rest?

      Sarah Ann

      January 14, 2013 at 8:42 pm

  4. Yes, the dialogue… Delightful! 🙂

    waitingforaname

    January 11, 2013 at 3:48 pm

  5. You see, everywhere there is a class structure… Nicely done Sarah Ann, made me grin. Of course I don’t know how the violin feels…

    Sandra

    January 11, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    • I think the violin is having the time of his life being top of the pile.

      Sarah Ann

      January 14, 2013 at 8:36 pm

  6. Really fun and you demonstrated perfect pitch. (Sorry, it’s begging to take me over again–the musical pun. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp me.)

    sustainabilitea

    January 11, 2013 at 6:46 pm

  7. Haha, this is great! Very clever and funny 🙂 Definitely made me smile (and poo on those poxy violins!)

    Hayley

    January 11, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    • Thanks. I’m think I’m beginning to feel sorry for the violins now.

      Sarah Ann

      January 14, 2013 at 8:43 pm

  8. This was a great dialogue. Being passed over for a newer model – and a violin at that. Hell has no fury like a double bass scorned!

    Anne Orchard

    January 12, 2013 at 9:32 am

  9. this was such a fun read! ^^

    kz

    January 12, 2013 at 11:45 am

    • Thank you. I rarely do fun, so I’m really pleased it worked.

      Sarah Ann

      January 14, 2013 at 8:46 pm

  10. Cute. Ah, the jealousy of instruments …

    wmqcolby

    January 12, 2013 at 12:16 pm

  11. Well told story. Dialogue is great. Those grumpy double basses. I imagine they might get overlooked, but a new toy! Haha

    The Bumble Files

    January 12, 2013 at 9:58 pm

  12. Oh those violins always the violins.

    brudberg

    January 12, 2013 at 10:45 pm

  13. Poxy Violin. Loved it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    dmmacilroy

    January 13, 2013 at 7:57 am

    • Hi Doug,
      I’m glad poxy worked for you. It took a while to decide that was the right adjective to go with.

      Sarah Ann

      January 14, 2013 at 8:47 pm

  14. Very good work, Sarah. I liked it very much.

    sandraconner

    January 13, 2013 at 12:55 pm

  15. Oh, the indignity of it all!

    tedstrutz

    January 13, 2013 at 10:36 pm

  16. i love the challenge of personification. how to balance what they might really say or not say, as if there is a right or wrong. and vocabulary choices too. well done.

    rich

    January 15, 2013 at 4:29 pm


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