Sarah Ann Hall

Reporting on writing in progress or, more probably, not.

#FridayFictioneers – 9/11/12 – Icy Heart

with 11 comments

This story was written in response to a photo posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Each week she posts a prompt for writers to create 100-words around, which they post on Friday.

Well, it’s better to be late than never and I didn’t turn in my 100-words last week (slapped wrist).

This week I had drafted my story by the end of Thursday, but haven’t been near my computer since to edit.  I’m not sure it works – let me know what you think. And I apologise for writing such a miserable story in response to such a beautiful prompt.

Read the other stories here:

 

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

Icy Heart

It didn’t matter how hard she looked, she couldn’t see through. The outside world was lost to her.

If she thought hard, she could remember when life had gone sour. But why bother? The love and warmth of friends was long gone. Being alone meant no one could hurt her. Not like before.

She touched a frozen finger to the window. Flesh stuck to glass, each chilling the other.

It was better this way. Better to be self-sufficient.

Time to light a fire and melt some of this damned ice.

After she’d gone, her fingerprint remained on the pane.

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Written by Sarah Ann

November 11, 2012 at 6:41 pm

11 Responses

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  1. Hi Sarah,
    It’s always better late than never. I love the 100 word challenge. It’s really taught me how to economize words and use action verbs as opposed to passive voice. I was addicted from my first flash fiction.
    It would seem that our stories have a lot in common this week. Your MC is in a bleak place in life. Surrounding the heart with ice to keep away hurt is the worst of all pains for it means numbing yourself to any emotion.
    Okay..nuff said. Good story.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

    November 11, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    • Thanks Rochelle.
      I love the challenge of saying something in 100 words too. I just wish I was a bit more organised doing it. Thank you for the beautiful photo this week.

      Sarah Ann

      November 12, 2012 at 9:05 pm

  2. I just happened to check for new stories and found three!! Yours was first, so here I am, reading. I like your story!

    janet

    November 12, 2012 at 12:03 am

  3. Sarah,

    The last line “her fingerprints remained on the pane”…. I like the word play…

    Tom

    Tom Poet

    November 12, 2012 at 12:20 am

    • Thanks Tom.
      I had thought of following those words with, ” – the only sign of life.”, but think it made the whole thing a little too predictable. I’m glad you liked it.

      Sarah Ann

      November 12, 2012 at 9:13 pm

  4. Sad story. Wonder what hurt her so deeply that she felt the need to isolate herself from the human race. That alone is a soul-death. …I enjoyed the last line as well…”her fingerprints remained on the pane….”

    Lora

    November 12, 2012 at 7:01 am

    • Thanks Lora.
      I don’t know what hurt her so deeply. I think she might have taken the offence too easily and definitely too far.

      Sarah Ann

      November 12, 2012 at 9:09 pm

  5. No need to apologise. Many of this week’s stories had loneliness or sadness in them.
    Good story. As it is said, once bitten, twice shy. We tend to withdraw upon being hurt.

    Abraham

    November 12, 2012 at 9:30 am

    • Hi Abraham,
      Thank you for your comments and your great stories this week. 🙂

      Sarah Ann

      November 12, 2012 at 9:15 pm

  6. I loved this. Especially the batteries had a life or gave something else a life. Good job.

    Shirley McCann

    November 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm


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